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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

10.06.2025 08:57

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

What is truer than that which is true?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By taking turns talking.

While wearing high heels and walking heel to toe, when the toe box hit the floor there is a noise. How do I keep the noise just for the heel?

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.